Man With “Cranking” Fetish Sued By Dealership For Joyride

Jordan Haskins (Courtesy Photo/Saginaw County Sheriff’s Office)

Over the years, we’ve seen a lot in the way of car-related crime but this one takes things to a whole different level. MLive, a Michigan-based news site, reports that back in February of 2017 a man was arrested for breaking into a GM dealership and stealing six cars to take them for “joy rides”, damaging four in the process. The suspect in question has been linked to several previous incidents where a fetish known as “cranking” was involved, though it doesn’t appear it was involved in the joyrides.

“Cranking” is apparently a fetish that involves sexual gratification over not being able to start a vehicle, thus the fetish’s name. That’s a new one for us and seems like it would be more of an exercise in frustration rather than fulfillment but we’re not here to judge–though it is super weird.

Jordan Haskins, the 27-year-old man responsible for the thefts, was sentenced back in February to probation and mandatory mental health evaluations after the incident–getting off easy if you ask us (pun intended). The dealership followed up by suing Haskins for $38,000 citing the damaged caused to four of the six vehicles that were taken for the alleged “joy rides.”

The damage to the vehicles and facility totaled $12,129.55, but the dealership is citing legal precedent that entitles them to three times the actual damages, bringing the total they are seeking to around $38,000.

According to MLive, the vehicles were parked outside the dealership awaiting work in the body shop when Haskins took them for a quick jaunt in the establishment’s back lot where he hopped curbs and launched the vehicles off of small hills. The vehicles he damaged were a 2011 Chevrolet Silverado, a 2010 Chevrolet Tahoe, a 2015 Chevrolet Silverado and a 2010 Chevrolet Equinox.

Cranking

Yes, they even have anime versions.

We’re not sure how he managed to do this with six vehicles without anyone noticing, but we suppose that’s not exactly the point. According to MLive, Haskins had 21 days to respond to the lawsuit but has not responded within the allotted time. They are now pressing to have the court rule in their favor without Haskins involvement due to his silence.

Different strokes for different folks. What? Too soon?

About the author

Chase Christensen

Chase Christensen hails from Salt Lake City, and grew up around high-performance GM vehicles. He took possession of his very first F-body— an ’86 Trans Am— at the age of 13 and has been wrenching ever since.
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